Advanced Communicating

Hello and Welcome to new subscribers of AdvancedCommunicating.com

I have been off on vacation this past month and I must say it has been exhilarating! I have been taking some training at my local Shambhala center and learning to meditate in a more disciplined way then I have in the past 15 years. I've also taken training from the Integral Institute in the form of seminars and evening lectures around authentic leadership and integral psychology that have been the catalyst for many wonderful conversations and dinner parties with friends.

I come to you now... relaxed, expanded and happy, to share and converse with you about some of the things I've learned. I hope this months conversation will be a catalyst for your consciousness-expansion, and a dinner party or two, if you are so inclined.

Please do us the honor of responding with your thoughts, questions or comments. It's a thrill to hear from you.

In Tibet, there is a story about a legendary kingdom that was filled with peace and prosperity, governed by wise and compassionate rulers. The palace, Kalapa, is said to be located in a remote valley somewhere in the Hymalayas, north of the river Sita. But there are mixed opinions on whether this story is to be taken literally or metaphorically.

Whether literal or metaphorical, the kingdom, called Shambhala, has many lessons about authentic leadership to teach rulers, facilitators, coaches and mentors. One of its key features was that everyone in the kingdom experienced themselves and life as basically good and loving rather than scary and difficult. There was peace, prosperity and loving kindness for all.

The image of the Shambala kingdom has been used by many spiritual teachers to represent the ideal of secular enlightenment, that is, the possibility of uplifting our personal existence and that of others without the help of any religious outlook. The source of Shambhala sanity is the cultivation of who and what we really are as human beings.

As facilitators of growth, development and change, we are often in positions similar to the rulers of Shambhala, to facilitate the spiritual growth of individuals and groups with wisdom and compassion. Below are some specific ways we can promote an enlightened mini society in every group we facilitate.

Buddhist leader and founder of Naropa University and The Shambhala Center in Boulder, CO., Chogyam Trungpa, offers these profound ways. In one of his many acclaimed books, Shambhala: The Sacred Path of the Warrior Trungpa outlines some key principles that take us on a path to the glory of being a human being.

For mentors like many of you, I call the selected key principles below "The Sacred Path of the Facilitator/Mentor", because there is something so deep, so dignified, so real about this way of living our lives and facilitating growth that it deserves the title of “sacred".

Principles used on the Sacred Path of the Facilitator/Mentor

1. The key to The Sacred Path and the first principle of the Shambhala vision is not being afraid of who you are. It is realizing the basic goodness that is inside you. Bravery means not being afraid of making mistakes and being yourself. And the best way to do that, is to know yourself as basically good.

Whether you are facilitating groups or your personal relationship conflicts, there are those moments when you are called to step up and speak to the basic goodness of a situation. Surprisingly, it’s not always a popular stance. People like to focus on problems and challenges. They don’t want to hear everything that is right about the situation. We take this step when we are not afraid of who we are. We stand strongly in our integrity and in our knowledge of the bigger picture of life.

This Shambhala vision is the opposite of selfishness because it doesn’t permit us to take refuge in our individual concerns of image, safety and comfort, but calls us to care for the needs of others over our own. It asks us to take an unbiased look at what’s happening.

We can examine the holarchy of our experience and, if possible, use Ken Wilber's model of reality called AQAL (All Quadrants, All Levels) to express the goodness that is presenting itself. We can share what is valuable to help the group uplift their experience.

Stay tuned next month, here at AdComm, when we explore more about holarchies, quadrants and levels.

2. The second principle of the Shambhala vision, that contributes to the strength and beauty of the Sacred Path, is the ability to appreciate very simple experiences within the group. People experience glimpses of basic goodness all the time, but often, no one helps them appreciate it.

When we smell a flower and silently murmer “ahhh”, we experience basic, fundamental goodness. When we walk out on the deck or porch after a summer rain and feel the freshness of life all around us, there is unadulterated basic goodness.

In a group, when someone offers support, a compliment, or a beautiful observation…there we find basic goodness. These events take a fraction of a second and we can easily say “thank you” but essentially pass over them. Don’t overlook them.

According to Shambhala principles, it is worthwhile to recognize and take advantage of those moments, because they reveal to the group the basic nonaggression and freshness that is also ever present in our lives. There is not only terrorism, conflict, anger or chaos.

There are also many events of basic goodness. To gain from them, to live life embraced by them, as in the kingdom of Shambhala, the Path of the Sacred Facilitator/Mentor is about helping the group make a genuine connection to it.

3.The third principle of the Shambhala vision is having a light touch, a sense of humor towards ourselves, in our work and in our lives. A genuine sense of humor requires a light touch of appreciation for “what is”, however it is. By having a light touch with whatever comes up in groups, we facilitate in others an experience and understanding of how to live and relate to ordinary life at a level of basic, fundamental goodness.

A light touch brings with it an admixture of self-confidence and humility. There is confidence in ourselves and our awareness of our goodness and there is a humility in the experience of being human, vulnerable to all sorts of distractions and distortions to what we know is true. A light touch is an amazing gift we give all who enter our world.

4. The fourth principle of the Shambhala vision is refusing to give up on anyone or anything. This is difficult for westerners to grasp. But that is why the Shambhala vision is valuable to facilitators, coaches,mentors, etc.. We dont say that we are simply falling to pieces or anyone else is, or that the world is. Within our lifetimes there will be great problems in the world but we can prevent disasters. We can prevent falling to pieces.

It is a centuries old idea that we prevent disaster by building an enlightened human society. Every individual can do this in their own way. We build an enlightened society by uplifting people, one by one. And one way facilitators do this is by refusing to give up on anyone or anything in their group.

This doesn’t mean we don’t remove ourselves from the neurotic attachments we may have with some people or some ideas. It doesn’t mean we don’t take actions that are necessary for the wellbeing of the group.

But it does mean that we strengthen the goodness that is at work in everyone and every thing. We see past appearances and obscurities to the basic goodness that is in all things. We anticipate the natural unfoldment of goodness.

So the four key principles of the Sacred Path of the Facilitator/Mentor are:
1. Know yourself as fundamentally good and don’t be afraid of anything inside you
2. Deeply appreciate the very simple things in life and the groups you facilitate
3. Have a light touch and a sense of humor with yourself and others
4. Refuse to give up on anyone or anything

Following these simple guidelines, you can and will contribute to an enlightened human society. I wish you well on this sacred path. May the wind be at your back. Please share your comments by clicking on "comments" below.
Namaste.

Spiral dynamics

Hello All,

No doubt you have received a summary of Clare Grave's Spiral Dynamics in a recent email.
Let me know if you haven't.

It's amazing research isnt it? It was first conceived in the late 70's and has been brought to the foreground more recently by Dr. Don Beck. I think it's more relevant to the field of coaching then you may realize.

Recently Dr. Otto Laske, who is heading up the Interdevelopmental Institute for Coach Training, submitted a board brief to the ICF with recommendations to ammend the certification process. He argued for the importance of adding the coaches level of development in determining whether one should pass the ICF certification process. This would mean certification considerations would evolve to include not only core competencies but also level of development.

It's not unlike IAC's 15 Proficiencies that have naturally imbedded in them, levels of coach development. For example, Coaches can't really recognize the perfection in every situation unless they have some sort of personal practice in their lives that bring them deeper into the meaning of life.

It is becoming ever more clear that the definition of coaching involves not just helping clients get what they want, but assisting in their evolution from one wave of development to the next...offering a larger framework for experiencing not only what they want but what there is to want from a larger perspective.
This requires that the coach be integrally informed of these higher frameworks

The "include and transcend" perspective of evolution (see Spiral Dynamics as just one example) is a growing movement at the leading edge of not only the coaching industry, but also in the cultural elite, in thought leaders, in the media arts and academia in general, where more and more people are starting to move toward a new phase: "an age of synthesis" An age characterized not by "it's either this or that" but by "it's this AND that". It's just now beginning. And you are part of it.

What do you need to wholeheartedly embrace it?

Please add your comments below, by clicking on "comments".

Are Developmental Levels Elitist?

Welcome again to another conversation....
Are Developmental Levels Elitist?

Sali, you raised this question when you commented to What is Mastery?, that having advanced communicating and relating skills seemed fine enough but being called an advanced communicator or a forward thinker seemed like it seperated you from others. I thank you for that observation because many people I talk with have the same concern. And yes, I think you are right. It does... and so it is with those who call themselves, a KKK member or a Nazi, etc. These are differences aren't they? Differences in a world of multiplicity seperate us and lead us to forget that at our deepest levels we are equal because we are One.

There really is only One Mind and that is a Universal Mind that at a deeper level, we all share.

Ha! But here's the rub!

Right there... in THAT statement, I just seperated myself from others, didn't I? It wasnt a label, like "forward thinker", it was a statement. There are many, many people who will not only disagree with that statement, but they will have no clue about the experiences I have had that have led me to that "Knowing". I also know that although we are of one Mind, our experiences legitimately seperate us from others. There are things you know from experiences on a spiritual path that are greater, more sophisticated, more integrated than what others know. There are things you know in the areas of science, running a solo business, life, etc., that are greater, more sophisticated, more encompassing than what a first grader knows...and of course some of you know more than most people know.

Why? Because you are more mature. You are more DEVELOPED. You know what they know...and more.
A WORLD-CENTRIC FORWARD THINKER is at a higher, more encompassing level of development than AN ETHNOCENTRIC NAZI THINKER. A NAZI THINKER is at a higher more encompassing level of development than AN EGO-CENTRIC FIRST GRADER. Is this labeling? seperating? discriminating? dare i say judging?

YES!

Is that wise to do? Does it seem right? Well, who would you rather have as your mentor...a first grader, a nazi or a forward thinker? Do you think those differences matter or are we all equal? It seems to me we confuse levels of Being when we even ask this question. "Flatlanders" are people who dont have the knowledge or experience to really understand that we are operating on a physical plane and on a spiritual plane (more encompassing). And the Universal Laws are different on each one. So while we ARE of one Mind we also ARE different. And that's just one of the many paradoxes that people who do experience life multi-dimensionally are OK with.

So... I ask YOU
Does more maturity, more development, make you an elitist?
Please do leave a post in the comment section below....thanks!
anna

What is Mastery?

It's great to see all your familiar names signing into the conversation list. And welcome to all you new folks too. This week I thought it would be interesting to open the conversation about Mastery.

But before I do, just want to share today what I wasnt ready to share last week. "I miss you sooo much Thomas". Last week, February 11, was the one year anniversary of the death of one of my most challenging and provocative teacher/mentors, Thomas J Leonard. Many of you know him and feel the same way. For those who dont, you can find some of his prolific writing at Coachville.com. It's free to be a member and on the member pages you'll find a lot of wonderful growth and development programs he created. Check out the 3 Step Trainings in particular.

Thomas had the rare gift of translating complicated spiritual concepts into the language of business so that businesses and entrepreneurs could thrive on experiences of generosity, harmony, creativity, flow, etc. and not need to do a 3 year retreat to get there. He was the kind of Master who was in your face if you weren't genuine or awake to what you were saying and doing. You loved him for it and hated the process. But under his tutoring, working for and with him for about 2 years, I grew more than in the previous 15 years of other spiritual trainings. He was a Master in the world of ego development AND transcendence. He always reminded me of what Carl Jung taught as well, that you need to develop your ego before you can transcend it. Programs like "Perfect Life", "Extreme Self-Care", "Tolerations Free" "Need-Less", and more, all indulged the ego to such a degree that after a while you were really ready for something bigger and better than ego. You were ripe to evolve. Teachings that urge you to surrender ego before you deeply know it and consciously indulge it simply take too long to master. There is always resistance...in my humble opinion. There is resistance when it's ripe too..but much less.

What I loved most about Thomas was he never used language from traditional spiritual teachings. He was a master at consistently using language that didnt get in the way of helping all levels of people evolve personally and professionally. If you truly want to know what mastery is...check out the life and teachings of Thomas J. Leonard at www.thomasleonard.com .

And for another slice of the mastery pie: Lee Coit writes this about mastery, in Listening...Still, "Too much emphasis placed on understanding instead of practicing can lead to frustration and denial because understanding is not accomplishment. If you cannot do it well consistently, you have not attained mastery". Coaches going for IAC certification take note! All of us who read and read and talk and talk but dont spend hours a day practicing, we're just kidding ourselves if we think we are mastering anything.

And why bother to go for mastery of anything? Because we can. Because humanity will evolve further if just one of us does. Because one person matters...a lot. Just one of us can raise the bar for others. And that is an amazing legacy.

So, who has another piece of this pie? And how do these pieces I offer you taste?
Thanks for being here.
anna

February 10,2004

Welcome To Advanced Communicating

This is a community of forward thinkers like yourself, who delight in reading, questioning and sharing views on a wide variety of human fascinations. Some of the ideas we will talk about here are:
What is mastery and why go for it?

Is the concept of developmental levels elitist?

What's up with the baby boomers?

What's it take to be enlightened?

What's all the hoorah about being present, the power of now and finding stillness... and what's it got to do with coaching?

Where are you on your path of development and why does it matter?

When something of special interest is available here, like teleforums, interviews, links to provocative conversations and ideas, advanced communicating resources, information and guidelines about IAC certification, etc., you'll get a text email to tell you what's new.

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Tell me what you think of a website called Advanced Communicating just showcasing advanced communicating? What do you think of the questions? What questions would you like to see discussed?

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